1. Know the facts. Educate yourself about social prejudices and the factors that lead to isolation.
This doesn't mean asking others about their experience, but instead turning to the hundreds of thousands of educators on the internet using tools like social media to create awareness and share information about the experiences of those excluded from the "normal" narrative without putting your neighbour, peer or friend through the emotional labour of explaining it to you.
2. Be aware of your attitudes and behaviour.
People living with experiences of marginalization know within moments if you're someone they can trust. This level of discernment is, in part, a survival skill that influences their sense of safety - are you someone that may present a threat to the person you're trying to help? You have to do the work and ask yourself why.
The answer isn't always something you want to hear, so it is important to take the time and listen. Change isn't always comfortable.
“It is never the privileged outsider who gets to decide when they’re a good ally. Especially not if they want to use their status as an ally to excuse whatever they have done that has offended someone in the group they claim to be supporting.”
― Mikki Kendall, Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot
3. Choose your words carefully.
A lot of language is rooted in ablist and judgemental assumptions, you might not even realize you're saying something hurtful - so trust the people who point these things out to you, they're just trying to help you improve!
4. Educate others.
Sharing posts on social media, or engaging in a responsive conversation can be key ways of sharing information that helps people understand the complexity of a situation. We are often caught up in news narratives that are controlled though, so taking the time to promote the voice of someone speaking out about an issue that directly affects them helps to inform the people in your network from a place of authentic allyship.
5. Focus on the positive.
When people are living with life-threatening situations, it is hard to talk about anything else. But even in the depths of a dark place, people are so much more than the negative things they've done or experienced and it is important to remember that.
“To live from vibrant love in a world where degrading structures prevail—this is both our predicament and its answer.”
― Ralph De La Rosa, Don't Tell Me to Relax: Emotional Resilience in the Age of Rage, Feels, and Freak-Outs
6. Include everyone.
When we exclude people in our community, we are only furthering the walls of marginalization and isolation. How can we include everyone? Every time you ask yourself this, the answer will be different - so do your best, and be open to help from others.
Be ready to join the conversation, and don't be afraid - in reality you'll likely say the wrong thing, or do the wrong things. But the point is that you're trying, while others are sitting back and doing nothing. Even change makers make a mistake from time to time.
In almost forty years of teaching and leading workshops about racism, I have made many mistakes. I have found that a sincere apology and a genuine desire to learn from one's mistakes is usually rewarded with forgiveness. If we wait for perfection, we will never break the silence. The cycle of racism will continue uninterrupted.”
― Beverly Daniel Tatum, Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
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